Where Are The Villagers?

On the compromises I’m making as a (White) intuitive so I can live (Black) community

10 Days from now I’m going to open a little juice bar called “Healthy Hub” in the heart of my village here in Kenya. A cute, little, simple yet thoughtful place to enjoy the goodness of organic farming, a place that does good to our bodies and a place to gather, empower and share. The Healthy Hub is opening in the main road of our small village shopping centre (which actually contains of two roads! 😉), at the heart of this community where life, business and connection pulse.

Sounds like a heartwarming "dream-coming-true" thing to do?

Well…

Frankly speaking: It doesn’t support my “high vibe” frequency AND it challenges my competence to relate, sacrifice and put community growth before my individual needs.

This might surprise you:

Planning, building and birthing this place in addition to our existing organic farm and community programmes meant one intuitive excitement spark-moment and after that: Working in the dusty roads of Kandongu, under the scorching sun, amongst burning plastic and black engine fumes and ear-piercing noises of welders, tuned motorcycles (pikipiki) and mega-phoned preachers.

It meant becoming a co-creator of the places and situations I usually try to avoid as much as I can. It meant my creative and constructive flows being interrupted after every 3 seconds, mostly by locals yelling “mzungu” (name for white person), staring, laughing, giggling or kids wanting to greet while mimicking a high-pitch “white person’s voice”. And it meant leaving my high-frequency bubble (my home and work from home in my green sanctuary) for more time that I would have called “healthy” for my nature and nervous system. It meant not having the inspiration and inner space to write newsletters or create intuitive programmes.

In short:

It meant becoming part of a space where you don’t choose the people, “tribes” and frequencies around you but anyone can choose you. And it will continue meaning this to me – amongst other beautiful things – after the opening on 1^st.

I knew all this would happen. And why did I choose to do it?

1.  Because I believe in this project that brings empowermennt on organic farming and healthy living into the midst of this farmer's community.

2. Because I believe in community.

3. Because I notice more and more that the world is not transformed from the centre of a temple. It’s created on the market place.

I believe we can’t talk and preach about community, without 1. Being ready to become a "common actor" playing a role in its midst. And 2. Without sacrificing for it.

Everyone wants a village – but who's ready to become a villager?

The past years I've been creating from a high-vibe soul-led frequency. And I think I've done quite well, I've brithed many things I'm proud of and that nourish me. Until the feeling of loneliness creeps back in. An empty feeling that longs for connection WHILE I ALREADY LIVE AND WORK IN A COMMUNITY SET UP day in day out. And I hear of similar experience, especially from friends and colleagues creating in a society shaped by "Whiteness".

THE (WHITE-WASHED) LIES OF SPIRITUALITY?

Today's (White) spiritual teachings sell to us self-connection. They talk about high vibe, safe space and frequency that can only be held and kept alive if you protect yourself. If you set the right boundaries. And yes, they do talk about connection and community while at the same time telling you to self-treat, to "choose your tribe" and to stay away from energies that “don’t match you”.

I partially believed in this for a while too. But I'm unmasking this more and more as quite priviledged, unnatural and deathly for relational skills we badly need in a world that’s a market place, not a temple.

Some months ago, it clicked for me. In a moment of severe sickness and deep communal experience around me I started to understand on a deeper level what true community requires. And above all the beautiful things we associate with it, it means one thing that the (hyper individualistic White) spiritual community loves to stay silent about: it means SACRIFICE over self-growth.

It means to show up even if we don’t feel like.

It means creating something that might not fulfill us, but uplift many others.

It means to put the welfare of all above our own.

Sacrificing CAN feel draining. It does NOT always give back.

And that's okay. Because we’re MANY.

The Black culture I live in has been my best teacher in this.

Here it's never about personal growth.

It’s about how many people you take with you as you grow.

It’s not about boundaries.

It’s about how many doors you opened towards those who aren't where you are. It’s not about an ever regulated nervous system.

It’s about keeping the system running that targets the common good and safety.

I'm inviting you to ask yourself:

What kind of a village do you dream of? And what kind of villager does this require you to become? What kind of self-protection does it require you to unlearn?

I can't wait to hear your thoughts around this!

I'm tired, not regulated AND deeply happy and grateful to be opening HEALTHY HUB next week. And the first time in my life I can say: I wouldn't even have thought of starting this without my team:

A BIG THANK YOU:

I couldn’t have and wouldn't have done it without my team on the ground, Coletta, Tortoise and John that challenged us to go from “fancy ideas” to on-the-ground marketability. Who are a constant loving and patient invitation to dear connect, even if spaces seem intrusive and uncomfortbale. I owe it to all of my friends whose businesses are located next to ours and who have already started created a co-protective, supervision alliance around our Healthy Hub. I owe it to the 2 incredibly committed volunteers that sweat with us on the road daily, helping everything fall into place. And I owe it to the community around me that help me learn daily since 14 years about what it means to be a villager.

And lastly I owe it to myself, and my passion towards serving a greater purpose.

Much love from Kandongu,

Jana