I want you to grow slow
- Jana Winterhalter
- Sep 19
- 6 min read
On Enoughness between Kenya & Germany
HELLO BEAUTIFUL,
Today's letter is a story from my life between African & European cultures.
And it's an invitation for you to let be. To let go. To make peace. And to remember, that the not-enoughness pushing you was never meant to be your guide.
Let me get straight to the point:
Spiritual growth, or any growth, can become toxic to your body mind and body-soul connection, once it's pushed.
Once it rides on an enginge not fueled by your inner life force but by the belief that you would have to reach more, grow more, become more aligned in order to reach a state of enoughness. Such chasings don't actually lead into growth. They lead into outer change without inner growth. An empty, ever-transforming shell with a burnt-out core.
Harsh words?
Maybe. They speak from my own life experience. From when I found myself addicted to transformation in life while being stuck within. I saw that in my life and I see that in many people I know - especially in those from Europe.
Let me share with you the question I fear most in my life:
Being someone whose life engine has always been riding on envisioning transformation, initiating spaces & conversations, empowering people,... there's one question I truly fear to ask myself:
What if right now is the time to stop transforming, to stop creating and to accept what is as ENOUGH? As enough. Period.
What do you feel when inviting the possibility of "Whatever I've done, whatever I've become, whatever I am, it's enough."?
When I connect to the energy of these words my body is torn apart between the longing to trust those words so that she can release into rest, while at the same time my nervous system starts to panic, trying to fight shame, guilt and the urge to justify myself for wanting to pause.
Why do I fear that question so much while I'm longing to trust it's truth even more?
Because the societies that raised me dress stillness and rest in shame. They call enoughness either hybris or lazyness, they don't tolerate being okay with what is, with what you've achieved, with being in love with the imperfection of your life creation. They teach us about incompleteness, about unsuccessful and never-enough.
The level with which my being has been intoxicated with such lies is nowhere uncovering more clearly than here in Kenya.
Do you sometimes believe your "addiction" to transformation and growth is "normal" or natural? Do you sometimes mistake your inner pushing towards "more" as a guiding from your soul, while that path is actually exhausting you more and more?
I'd like to take you on a little journey through my everyday life in Kenya:
There's something that makes me sad regularly:
When I get visitors from Germany, most of them ask me the same question after staying with me and the local community for some time: "I don't understand what's wrong with them. Why don't they plan ahead, why don't they strategize better? Why don't they see that they won't get far if they don't start optimizing on their life planning?"
Well...
Let me first try to break down into examples what those questions usually refer to. I'm aware that those examples seem generalizing, but I can say they are true for about 90% of the people I spend my life with here in rural Kenya, since many years:
Salt is bought when it's empty, not when it's almost empty. Rebuying is considered when finding an empty tin while cooking. No stocking.
Sellers deal with you today as if there's no tomorrow. Sometimes not in the most honest way, so they risk missing the chance of the buyer coming back to them tomorrow.
Most people dont buy in bulk to save some coins. They have 20 Shillings today, they buy for 20 Shillings today. No one cares whether saving and buying a bigger amount of sugar for 30 Sh tomorrow would be more economical.
Okay, I get it. There are reasons why someone born in Europe could say those habits aren't the most benefitial, smart or optimized.
It get why this seems true if you're born and raised in a capitalistic society. It must seem true to you if you're taught your whole life has to be about optimization, about aquiring wealth, enough savings, about being prepared for any scenario and to secure your future through the right investments. When all your life is about being able to sustain you and your family with sufficient comfort and class and if you know very well that any gap in your financial plan, any dependence of financial help will be seen as failure.
True.
It is NOT true if you're raised in a society that knows they can do their daily part, but the bigger life destiny lies in Gods hands.
It's not true if you're raised in a society where you don't need to be prepared for every eventuality, because the community net will carry you and your unexpected emergency bills.
It's not true if you're raised in a society where it's about functionality, not endless optimization. It works for today, so it's enough.
It's not true if you're raised with the knowing that your life relies on cycles, on the skies granting you rains, on the the sun being merciful and with your cow giving you milk tomorrow. You're not in control, you do your part, nature and God do the rest.
And it's not true if you haven't been taught that every child requires it's own budget but with the trust that every baby comes with its own blessings.
It's not true if you aren't raised with the belief that you ought to be prepared for what tomorrow might hold but with the strong trust that "Tomorrow will take care of itself."
And I need to make this clear: I'm not saying that one approach is better, smarter or more right than the other. But I want to remind you today that your habits trying to fill the void of not-enoughness might be conditioned, not chosen freely.
AND HERE'S THE PRICE YOU PAY:
Here in Kenya I've never heard someone say:
"I can't rest, I need to get this done."
I have not met anyone telling me: "I don't think I've done enough."
I haven't met anyone with burning out or lacking happiness in the now even though the future is not yet catered for.
I never hear anyone saying: "My doing is just a drop in the ocean, it's not enough. "Or the moment someone bringing a creation to life that it's "already outdated, needs a new, better, more grown version."
But I HAVE HEARD several people saying:
"That's enough for me. I don't need more than this."
"This is enough to sustain me."
People tell me daily: "God will provide."
And, my favorite one:
"Tomorrow will take care of itself."
I DO SEE gratitude daily. I DO WITNESS enoughness daily.
I see peace. I see joy. I see calmness in the midst of challenges and uncertainty.
How about you could relax into: "Tomorrow will take care of itself"?
And please, get this right:
I don't mean you shouldn't be ambitious. I don't mean you shouldn't want BIG for you. But let that BIG be something that can feel ENOUGH each step of the way. Let it be pursued to fulfill your soul, not a society's picture of success.
YES, it's important to have goals. My Kenyan friends do have goals too.
But I don't see them sell their daily happiness, peace and health for reaching their life goals.
I want you to lay back today and say:
If your life would pause for a moment, see, how much beauty you've created.
Feel, how much blessings you recieved.
Remember how much value you brought into other people's life.
See how much love you gave and received.
See, you've given it your best.
And your best WAS and IS ENOUGH.
YOU'RE ENOUGH. What you do is enough. What you've created is enough.
Maybe it's now time to nurture and hold space for what you already have. No new, no better, just natural growth.
Unlearning Not-Enoughness is possible. Re-programming your cells yo they can release into HAVING what is, is possible.
Let me hold space for you as you remember your way of finding ENOUGHNESS in my FREE GUIDED INTUITIVE PRACTICE on Tuesday, 23rd.
Click below and sign up. It's free, it's for you.
May you find love for who you are today. For all you created, for all you have given and for all that was given to you. May you trust that you're enough and may you feel at peace as you choose to simply be.
My love to you,
Jana
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