I Don't Believe In Solitary Queenhood
- Jana Winterhalter
- 1 day ago
- 6 min read
The Beauty Of Becoming The Woman You Mistrusted The Most
HELLO BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,
I've got an intuitive question for you:
Which aspect of yourself do you mistrust the most? How would the version of you you mistrust the most act, create, talk and live if she was free?
Take a moment to see her, to feel her, to experience her.
And now I'd like you to ask yourself:
Which mistrust does this unfree version of yours stir towards your community? Towards other women? Towards humankind?
I'd love to share with you two things I believe in:
Our mistrusts and judgements towards society always mirror an aspect of broken trust towards ourselves.
Society is not only an "evil force conditioning us away from our true self". It's definetely as well THE GATEWAY inviting us into true healing that means trusting our place on Earth and WITHIN HUMANITY again.
There's something I'm observing increasingly in the ("Western") world around me, especially in women on their healing path. As they heal wounds, as they empower their inner fighter, as they remember their worth, they grow so much into a woman that trusts a new version of herself, and instead of re-channeling that trust back into society, she uses it to build her own bubble outside of (or in safe distance from) society.
They build healed-women circles, high-vibe bubbles, one-woman business-queendoms to attract more of the vibe that's matching their own trusted version of themselves.
What should be wrong with that?
First, I don't believe there's anything wrong with finding spaces and communities that make us feel entirely safe.
But: Where do we grow from there? What's the next step of transforming tribal mistrust into lived connectedness of ALL humankind going to look like?
And: These safe bubbles I talk about are not only meant to exclusively attract like-minded people. But also do such "safe spaces" exclude, judge and separate from anything and anyone that isn't matching their image of self-empowered "woke", grounding their community in a common (verbal or non-verbal) agreement of "They don't deserve us anymore." "We don't need them anymore."
And I see a problem here. A phenomenon I'm going to call "Solitary Queenhood". It's built on entitlement and separation, but fueled by an inner self-mistrust and thus mistrust towards humankind.
What do I mean by "Solitary Queenhood"?
Yes Queens, we've learnt much about "No, not in my space!", we've built walls of self-protection and we've removed people from our spaces that are "not healthy for our vibe". But the world is not just "our vibe."
Where's the community that mirrors inner diversity, the healed AND UNHEALED, the women AND MEN? Where is her place within the BROKEN, MESSY society, after she embraced healing? A place she inspires from but also GETS SHAKEN FROM, so she can grow even further?
After setting boundaries, where is she DARING CONNECTION again, even if it doesn't seem entirely safe at first? How many walls is she ready to break down and start trusting the HUMANNESS within "the other" again? How much "deserving" does she grant ANY human after she granted so much to herself? How much valid MISTRUST has she transformed not just into comfort but into VULNERABLE DOORS of connection, dialogue and spaces where bubbles can actually TOUCH, SHAKE each other, BURST and grow from there?
When do we ask: How can my healed version be of purpose in a society where it's not just about me spreading my light but also about me getting my regular dose of challenge, uncomfortable, trust-shaking, tough-love-mirror, so I can continue growing, learning, re-connecting with HUMANKIND as raw as it is? And with my inner HUMANNESS as unfinished as it will ever be?
When do I get back into an eye-leveled conversation with not only ONE TRIBE that will agree with all I say and offer? But with ALL MEMBERS that make a family. That make a team. That make a community. And a world?
Queens, I want you to be protected and I LOVE to see you empowered by your own strength, nature and resilience.
And: I believe you're not here to stay in the cozy protection zone forever. I believe you got all you need to negotiate safety, comfort and connection further, and further and further. To re-imagine your positioning within your tribe, and your tribe within the greater picture.
Dose by dose. In your own timing. But with constant commitment.
So let me be specific: These are the questions I'd love to ask each woman today, who's ready to choose growth with integrity and honesty. Who's ready to trust herself more so she can trust life and humankind again:
After you've learnt about your boundaries, how much have you learnt about self-protection that DOESN'T NEED TO BUILD WALLS but craves to take them down? Do you actually trust that your genuine You will always be your protection?
After you remembered WHAT you're standing for, have you noticed WHO you've started competing with? What if you trusted your UNIQUE WHY so much that you wouldn't have to mistrust the humans fighting in your line?
After you rose from old traumas caused by men or wounded male energies, after you laid down the victim label and filled yourself with self-worth, have you gone back to connecting with men, with unhealed women? Do you trust your empowered Self enough to meet them on eye level, see their WHOLE and LEARN FROM THEM?
Now that you've met your strength and power, do you trust it enough to show up vulnerable, soft, gentle and humble?
After you healed your inner child, are you ready to heal the inner adult? The lover? The leader? The companion? Do you trust your inner foundation enough to heal the inner HUMAN who's nature is to be embedded within a human COMMUNITY?
After exluding everyone from your life who didn't belong to your tribe, who have you invited in? Who will you be learning from so you can perfect your art of compassion for a world of inner diversity, not an unnatural one-vibe-tribe Queendom?
HOW MUCH SELF-MISTRUST IS STILL HOLDING YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR WAY BACK INTO SOCIETY?
And just to make this clear:
Yes, we do need to learn about boundaries and sometimes about good byes to get out of survival mode. To remember inner safety. To dare feeling ourselves again.
Yes, sometimes radically exluding a person or energy from our circle could be necessary, so we can fully chose us and our truth.
But no, I don't believe that boundaries elevate us over "the other" we're trying to find a healthy distance from.
And no, I don't believe that radically excluding humans will invite our ultimate peace. It's the reconciliation and re-approach towards the UNHEALED world that does, towards the "tribe" we don't call our own.
I wish for you to trust society enough to find your place in its midst.
I wish for you not only to heal your wounded girl and find a version of her you trust. I wish for you that you keep going back to the untrusted places within and keep unburrying the potential for connectedness they hold once healed. So they can lead you back into the human community that you chose to create a world with. For a whole life time.
I've created my new programme "HEALED WOMAN" for the woman who's ready to not only meet the version of her she already trusts. But to face the versions she mistrusts and fears, so she can transform them into doors towards finding her peaceful place within herself, her family, her community & the world again. Truthfully, authentically, and as genuinely human as any woman can be.
Much Love,
Jana
PS: PLEASE NOTE - PRICING CORRECTED
Thank you for your questions and hints around the pricing of this programme. I messed it up. NO - the pricing plan is not more expensive than the one-time-payment. And YES - it's a 9 months programme, pricing and payment plan - not 10 months. Well, I think I was too excited to be mentally present that day. It's now corrected. A 9 month programme (yes, it HAS TO BE 9 month, not 10 months, as it's designed as a re-birthing experience!) with a 9-months pricing and 9-months payment plan. Check it out.<3